Good Morning Everyone,
Our theme for this month: “Anger”
Our Bible verse for today: “This is why I am writing these things while absent, that when I am there I will not use severity, in keeping with the authority the Lord gave me for building up and not for tearing down.” 2 Corinthians 13:10 (HCSB)
Our thought for today: “Put it in a letter.”
Paul’s letters known as 1 and 2 Corinthians essentially amount to a spiritual spanking. The Christians in Corinth were a mess. As a church and as a community of believers they had drifted far from God’s standards. As we read about it it’s hard to believe some of the things they were involved in, all the while claiming the name of Christian.
So Paul wrote them a couple of very stern letters which were designed to get their attention. He wanted them to think deeply about the situations they were involved in and to change their behavior. In 2 Corinthians 13:10 Paul explained that the reason he wrote to them about these things was so that hopefully by the time he sat down with them face-to-face, much of it would already have been worked out.
What Paul models for us in 1 and 2 Corinthians is actually a great strategy for dealing with difficult situations that have the potential to become heated conflicts. Put it in a letter to the person first. But before you send the letter to them, spend a lot of time editing and rewriting, making sure the letter accurately expresses your concerns and does so in the proper tone. Then ask the person to think carefully about what you have written, and invite them to respond to you in writing so you can spend time carefully considering their response. Then meet face-to-face to discuss the situation.
President Abraham Lincoln frequently used this approach when he had a difficult and potentially unpleasant issue he needed to address with someone. Very often he would attempt to work through the situation with them in writing first, and then follow that up with a face-to-face meeting.
The reason this approach can be so effective is because in heated, spontaneous, face-to-face conversations the speech of the people involved is often being driven by emotion rather than reason. Therefore words are being spoken without any real thought being given to whether or not the words are appropriate or helpful.
But if you write about it first, and then spend sufficient time rereading and rewriting the letter from reason rather than emotion, you will make your case much more clearly and reasonably. Likewise, the other person will have lots of time to read and reread your letter and to give thought to what you have said.
Talking to people in-person is important, especially if there is a conflict going on or if the potential for conflict exists. But working through it in writing first can go a long way towards taking all the emotion out of it. That then will help to prevent misunderstanding and guard against unkind words. Putting it in a letter can be a great way to keep anger out of your communication with someone.
God Bless,
Pastor Jim
Oak Hill Baptist Church 