Sometimes you have to say “no”

Good morning everyone,

Our theme for this month: “Selfcare”

Our Bible verse for today: “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no’.” Matthew 5:37 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Sometimes you have to say ‘no’”.

When it comes to good selfcare sometimes you have to say ‘no’ when the other person wants and expects you to say ‘yes.’ In Matthew 5:37, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was essentially telling us to speak plain truth. Just say what it is. And sometimes, “what it is” is “no.”

I remember an incident that occurred to me almost twenty-five years ago. I was the pastor of a church in the California desert. Ministry in those days was demanding and busy. Also, the desert is a brutal climate – hot, barren, dusty, and that can be a hard place to live if you’re not used to it. So as a family, we would periodically drive west over the mountains into San Diego to enjoy a few days at the San Diego Marriot on the bay. It was expensive and we really couldn’t afford it, but we did it anyway because we needed the break from the desert and from the pressures of ministry upon us as a family.

We were in a time when it had been hard to get away. Twice before we had our getaway planned but something came up at the last minute to scuttle it. But this time, we were going to go! I promised Linda and the kids that this time we would not allow anything to derail it.

So, we were in the car driving west through the desert. The mountains were in front of us and right on the other side of those mountains, San Diego waited for us and that great hotel room in the Marriot on that beautiful bay. But you can guess what happened. My phone rang. It was an elderly lady in the church. Her husband was terminally ill and had been slowly dying at home for months. I had visited with them in their home multiple times as death was approaching but now, he was close to death and she wanted me to come and sit with them.

I explained to her that I was with my family in the car headed for a family getaway that had already been canceled twice and I needed to keep my promise to my family. There was silence for a moment and then she said, “Well, will you please turn around anyway and come and sit with us?” My heart sank and I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked at my wife and children and wondered what I should do. And then I heard the words coming out of my mouth, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. However, I will have one of the deacons come and visit with you.”

There was more silence for a moment and then in a cold, flat tone she said, “Okay, that will be fine. Thank you.” And she hung up. Well, the deacon did go over and the man did die that night, and right after the funeral that woman left the church and I never saw her again. I did call her in the weeks afterwards and I asked her to come back to the church but she was cool in her manner as said, “No, I don’t think so. I’ve been attending another church with some friends and I think I’ll continue to do that.” And I never saw her again.

That was almost twenty-five years ago and not only do I still remember it, but it still bothers me. I do think I did the right thing because my family needed me to keep my promise to them, but I still wish it would have turned out differently. However, the fact is that you cannot say ‘yes’ to everyone and to everything all the time. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that it’s time to stop and so you have to say “no.”

God bless,
Pastor Jim

(If you like what you’re reading in these daily devotionals, and if you would like more content from Oak Hill Baptist Church, join us on Sundays at 10:00 – in-person if you are nearby or, if you are geographically distant or if you just can’t make it, online at www.YouTube.com/@oakhillbaptistcrossville

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