Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “You become like those you associate with.”

 

As has already been noted in this series, a “family” can take many forms. The traditional family consists of a father, mother, and children, all living together in the same home. But of course families can also consist of step-parents and step-children, half brothers and sisters, adopted children, foster children, others who are treated like family, and more.

 

There are also other groups which, although they don’t involve flesh and blood, marital bonds, or living arrangements, they still have family-like qualities. Examples include church family, a group of close friends, military units, and even members of a sports team. Even something as bad as an inner-city gang can have family-like qualities to it. And that brings us to the subject for today’s devotional message.

 

Be careful who you associate with because over time you will become like them. That’s a basic truth of human nature. We become like those we associate with. So if you join an inner-city gang it won’t be long before you will exhibit all the mannerisms and behaviors that are common to such a group. Likewise if your close friends are drug users it won’t be long before you will be a drug user too.

 

We become like those we associate with. Since the evidence for this truth is obvious and overwhelming, we need to think carefully about what kind of person we want to be, what kind of life we want to have, and then choose to associate with those kinds of people. If you want to have a life that revolves around addiction, crime, poverty, and jail, then go ahead and associate with people who are already living that life. But if your vision is for a life that includes good health, a good job, a happy marriage, a nice home, strong faith, and things like that, then seek out and join a group of people who already have that kind of life. A good church family would be an obvious choice.

 

Sometimes we find it necessary to disassociate ourselves from a group we’re already involved with. A drug user who wants to be free from that lifestyle has to stop hanging around with drug users. The fact is that some family-like groups are seriously dysfunctional – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically unhealthy, and therefore a member sometimes finds it necessary to distance themselves from that group just to be able to break free from that destructive lifestyle.

 

Sometimes we have to leave an unhealthy church family. At other times it’s a work environment that has gone bad and which we need to remove ourselves from. Sometimes we might even have to distance ourselves from relatives whose company isn’t good for us.

 

The point is that since we become like those we associate with, we have to be extremely careful about which groups we will involve ourselves with – and how deeply. I encourage you to give careful thought to the family-like groups you’re a part of. Make sure they’re made up of people you really like and admire, and then make smart choices about how much influence you will allow them to have over your life.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “We need help to get through the trials of life.”

 

This past weekend I met a couple named Steve and Jacki, who I found myself admiring very much. Jacki has been battling cancer for fourteen long years. At times it has been in remission and at other times it has come back with a vengeance, only to be beaten back again with more chemotherapy and radiation. Right now the cancer is back, and she is once again enduring an extended regime of chemotherapy.

 

However they have not allowed the illness to defeat them or define them. They also have not allowed it to limit them. At the outset they constructed an impressive and extensive “bucket list” and then proceeded to march down the list and check off every item. Steve and Jacki have also made it a point to live life large. They have not retreated to a sick room or anything of the sort. They go places, they do things, they spend time in enjoyable activities with people they love.

 

This couple is a textbook example of the principle I wrote about in yesterday’s devotional message about people who have resolved to help each other be resilient in the face of a very challenging time of trial. Fourteen years is a long time to be contending with a life-threatening illness.

 

In addition to their resolution to be resilient, another principle we see in play in the life of this couple is perseverance. The key to dealing with that kind of a struggle is to lean into it, push forward, and to keep moving through it. But as Solomon observed in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it’s much easier to do that with help than it is to go it alone.

 

Steve and Jacki have walked through this together and that has made all the difference. But they haven’t just done it together. It hasn’t been just the two of them. A key to their resilience and perseverance has been the fact that they have walked through this time with a large group of family, church family, and friends. They surround themselves with people they love and enjoy and as an extended family they have all lived through this illness together. All of them. Together. This is “family” life (in all of its various manifestations) at its best.

 

Do you have a support group like that in your life? It’s great to have a spouse who is your best friend and soul mate to walk through tough times with you, but a larger group of family, church family, and close friends is essential too.

 

We need help to get through the tough times – and the more help the better. Not only do you need others to be there for you, but others also need you to be there for them. This is what “families” do for each other.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Families help each other to be strong.”

 

Back in the early 1990s Linda and I knew an older couple by the name of Jim and Carol Aikens. Jim was a longtime Southern Baptist Pastor but in those years he was serving with the California Southern Baptist State Convention. He and Carol traveled the state, visiting churches, holding meetings, and encouraging church leaders. The thing was, Carol was handicapped and at that stage in life was confined to a wheelchair. They went everywhere in a wheelchair van conversion.

 

Linda and I once asked Carol considering her special needs and the associated limitations, how it was that she and Jim were able to go so many places and do so many things.  She replied, “Honey, Jim and I decided years ago that we were going to be resilient people. We decided we would just do what we had to do, and we would deal with the circumstances as they were. We resolved that we would help each other to be resilient and then we would just get on with life”. Those words stuck with us and Linda and I adopted them as our own resolution in life.

 

Now fast forward to the summer of 2007. In March of that year Linda had had a major stroke and two brain surgeries. As a result she was pretty seriously disabled and our entire lives had been turned upside down. I realized I was going to have to leave my globe-trotting work as the Vice-President of a Christian humanitarian relief agency, and we had no idea what the future held for us. So while I was trying to help Linda adjust to all the new limitations in her life, I was also struggling with doubts and worries and a good deal of anxiety of my own.

 

One day, as I was in the middle of an extended pity party, Linda reached out, took my hand and said, “Jim, we are resilient people. We can handle this. We will just do what we need to do and deal with the circumstances as they are. We will get through this. We are resilient people.”

 

So there I was thinking that I had to figure out how to help Linda carry her burdens and deal with her limitations, and actually she was helping me to deal with mine. That’s what Jim and Carol did for each other too, and that’s what we all need to be doing for one another.

 

That’s also what Paul was writing about in Galatians 6:2. As the people of God we are to be resilient. We are to take life as it comes, deal with it, and just do what we need to do. But in order to do that we need each other. Each of us should always be looking for ways to help carry one another’s burdens. This is an important function of church life and it’s a primary responsibility we have to one another.

 

I encourage you to resolve to be resilient. But to do that, you will have to have people in your life who can and will help you. Life can sometimes be hard, and the burdens we have to bear can be heavy. We need each other.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Do not rebuke and older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and with all propriety, the younger women as sisters.” 1 Timothy 5:1-2

 

Our thought for today: “The church is a family”

 

I love the imagery Paul used in 1 Timothy 5:1-2. The letter of 1 Timothy was written by Paul to his young protégé Timothy and was intended to provide instruction, guidance, and encouragement to him as he figured out how to be a good pastor.

 

In this passage Paul urges Timothy to think of the congregation as a family. And so he was to treat older men as fathers, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters. Jesus used very similar language in Matthew 12:49-50 when He described His own relationship to the family of believers, “And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, ‘Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven, that person is My brother and sister and mother.”

 

Earlier in this devotional series of messages I described how it is that the bond between brothers and sisters in Christ is actually deeper, longer lasting, and more important than the flesh and blood bond we have with our biological family. That’s because the spiritual bond connects people in a deeper and more profound way, and it lasts for eternity.

 

But that’s more than just a spiritual truth; it’s also a physical reality. There are practical, real life implications to this. Within your church family there are real people – real flesh and blood people with whom you have a spiritual bond. Because they are real flesh and blood people, and because you do have such a deep connection with them, you do in fact have multiple “fathers”, and “mothers”, and “sisters”, and “brothers”, just a Paul was describing to Timothy.

 

The implications of this are far reaching. That means that there are no orphans in the family of God. It means there are no single mothers, no widows left alone, no single adults without a close family. If your church family is functioning as the Lord intends, and if you enter into the full life of your church, then you do have fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You have a family!

 

The benefits of this to us now, in this lifetime, are obvious. You should never be without people who love you and care about you. You should always have people who are there for you, will help you, will lift you up and encourage you, and who will help to enrich your life. That’s what a good church family does for you.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

 

Our thought for today: “We learn from each other.”

 

In 1 Corinthians 11:1 the Apostle Paul was writing to the believers in the church in Corinth and in this passage he urged them to imitate his example, because he himself was imitating the example set for him by Christ. In other words, Paul was modeling Christ-like conduct for them, and by observing him they could learn how to live more Christ-like lives of their own.

 

This is an important function of church life. When we’re fully involved in the life of a good church family we will be around other Christians who will impress and inspire us with their Christ-like conduct. That then will have a positive impact on us. It’s that old truth about human nature that “we become like those we associate with.”

 

Not only does that kind of good association have a positive and transformative impact on us, but it also gets passed down through the generations. I recently read an article in the current edition of the magazine “Christianity Today”, which stressed this very point. The author wrote about the godly women she had known over the years and the impact they had her life – but also how that influence was then passed on from her to her own daughters, and then on to her grandchildren. That kind of influence can be generational.

 

The other night I came across the story of a man by the name of James Taylor, who lived in a little village in England in the late 1700s. James was a mean drunk who despised Christians and mocked preachers. But then the Holy Spirit got hold of him and James came to faith in Christ – with a passion. He adopted Joshua 24:15 as his life verse, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!”

 

James’ passion and commitment were so great, and so infectious, that his enthusiasm for the faith was passed on to his son, and grandson, and then on to the great-grandson. That great-grandson became the famous missionary to China, Hudson Taylor. Hudson then passed the faith on to his own son, and grandson, and great-grandson, each of whom also became missionary leaders. That family is now into the seventh generation (over 200 years), of family members serving as missionaries and the chain of enthusiastic Christian faith and passionate service to Christ remains unbroken.

 

That’s what generational influence looks like and it happens within traditional family units as well as within church families. When you’re deeply and fully involved in the life of a good church family not only do you get to see and learn from the example of others, but others get to see and learn from you. And the influence becomes generational.

 

If you’re part of a good church family you are missing out; and others are also missing out because you’re not there. There’s a great hymn we sing in our churches that was written by Bill and Gloria Gaither. It’s called “The Family of God”:

 

“I’m so glad I’m a part of the family of God,

I’ve been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood!

Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,

For I’m part of the family,

The family of God.”

 

I look forward to seeing you in church on Sunday.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Now, instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:7-8 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “Leave a door open for reconciliation and restoration.”

 

I know a man whose son has a long history of drug abuse, petty crimes, and repeated stays in jail. Finally, after years of such behavior, the man completely cut his son out of his life. He has shut the door on that relationship and has refused to have any contact of any kind with his son for many years now. And, he has left no pathway back for the young man. It appears that the father has left no possibility for reconciliation.

 

I know of another family who, many years ago, had an adult child admit to being gay. They were devastated by the news and urged the person to change. The person didn’t change and so eventually the family severed the relationship with the person. That was decades ago and the relationship is still broken.

 

In 1983 Dr James Dobson, Christian psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family, wrote what has become a classic book in Christian literature. The title was “Tough Love” and the point of the book is that when someone we love is behaving in unacceptable ways, sometimes our love for them has to be demonstrated in tough ways. Often it is only through increasing degrees of discipline and consequences that a person’s attention is finally grabbed and their unacceptable behaviors are corrected.

 

Tough love is not only good but it’s also often necessary. The worse an individual’s behavior is and the longer it goes on, the more severe the consequences need to be. But sometimes tough love can go too far. Tough love is designed to correct and restore, not to condemn and shut out. Even in extreme cases, situations where the behavior is so inappropriate or dangerous that most or even all contact must be severed, there must still be an open door that allows for potential reconciliation and restoration in the future. Let me say it again, “Tough love is designed to correct and restore, not to condemn and shut out.”

 

This right here is where so many families and groups dealing with a seriously dysfunctional individual go wrong. In anger and frustration their response becomes over-the-top severe and ends up doing more damage than good. Yes, you may succeed in getting the dysfunctional individual and their unacceptable behavior out of your life for the moment, but it could also result in them being out of your life forever.

 

In 2 Corinthians 2:7-8 the Apostle Paul was writing about a man who had been intentionally and unrepentantly involved in sinful behavior that could not be ignored. After attempts at rebuke and correction from the church family did not resolve the problem, the man had to be dismissed from the fellowship of the church. But as we read in these verses, the door was still open for him to return to the fellowship. It was never the intent for him to be permanently banished.

 

This needs to be true in our families and groups too. Sometimes an individual may behave in ways that are totally unacceptable and which cannot be tolerated. And it is very possible that the individual could be unrepentant and uncooperative. That then must lead to increasing degrees of tough love – and rightly so.

 

But we have to be sure we don’t allow the situation to deteriorate to the point that we leave no path home for the person. The door must always remain open. People can change, hearts can melt, attitudes can soften, and so the opportunity for reconciliation and restoration must always exist. There are no throw-away people. Everyone can be saved and restored.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

 

 

 

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “Bear with one another in patience and love.”

 

The subject before us this morning, which we’ve carried over from yesterday’s devotional message, is “How should we deal with dysfunctional behavior which is over and above the normal dysfunction that always exists within any group of inherently imperfect people?”

 

In Colossians chapter three the Apostle Paul was writing about rules for holy living and he provided us with basic guidelines to govern the conduct of our day-to-day interactions with each other. In verses 12-14 he was making the point that the virtues that need to characterize our interactions with each other are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.

 

That’s the starting place. When it comes to dealing with each other we have to be thick-skinned and not easily offended. I personally believe that how easily offended a person is, is a direct measure of how spiritually mature that person is. The more spiritually mature you are, the less easily offended you are. The quicker you are to take offense, the more immature you are.

 

I think my marriage relationship to Linda can serve as an example here. In the early years we loved each other very much, but we were so different that we had to learn how to live together. At times we were like two porcupines that just kept poking at and annoying each other.

 

But as our relationship matured, and as we grew as individuals and as a couple, we learned how to live in peace and harmony. Many of the differences remained (even today after almost forty-one years as a couple and thirty-nine years of marriage), but the differences don’t really matter much anymore. We’ve learned to bear each other’s little idiosyncrasies with patience and love. That’s what Paul was writing about in Colossians chapter three and this is how we need to deal with each other. Patience and love is to be our default mode.

 

But that still begs the question of what we should do when an individual in our family, or church family, or group, is conducting themselves in a way that is so far beyond the norm, and so out of bounds of acceptable behavior, that it cannot simply be shrugged off or ignored. We’ll address that tomorrow. For now, be patient with one another. Show kindness and compassion. Don’t be easily offended.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Now Israel (Jacob) loved Joseph more than his other sons because Joseph was a son born to him in his old age, and he made a robe of many colors for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not bring themselves to speak peaceable to him.” Genesis 37:3-4 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “All families are dysfunctional”

 

The dictionary tells us that to be “dysfunctional” means: “The condition of having poor and unhealthy behaviors and attitudes within a group of people.”

 

Well, that pretty much describes all groups of people at one time or another doesn’t it? Whether we’re talking about traditional families, or church families, or a group of friends who function like a family, or any other group of people who have things in common and who regularly spend time together, at some point they behave in dysfunctional ways.

 

The Biblical family of Jacob, whose story we follow through the last chapters of the book of Genesis, is certainly a good case in point. Now remember, Jacob was a patriarch of Israel. He was one of the Old Testament Biblical fathers that the family of God was built upon. And yet he had two wives and a couple of concubines; he produced children from four different women; he played favorites among his children (which generated considerable hatred and bad behavior among them); he was known to be a deceitful schemer who could not be trusted; some of his sons modeled that behavior and developed that character trait too; and Jacob displayed a consistent pattern of small-minded and self-serving behavior that some of his sons picked up as well.

 

It was a seriously messed-up family! And yet, God was at work within their midst and He did some mighty things in and through them. You can spend some time reading their story in chapters 37-50 of Genesis.

 

The truth is that at some time, and in some way, all families are dysfunctional. That’s also true of any other grouping of people that has family-like qualities. Such groups are made up of people, and people are flawed, and so that means that the group is flawed. Someone once said that “God loves some pretty odd people, and the proof of it is that He loves you!” So if you, and people like you, are in a family-like group, then that group is odd and flawed.

 

Because it’s true that all people are flawed, and therefore all “family” groupings are flawed (read: dysfunctional), I think it will be helpful for us to spend a few days thinking about how we can most effectively deal with the dysfunction that is an inherent part of our family life. This is important! There are no perfect people and therefore there are no perfect groups of people. So we need to be able to deal effectively with all the imperfections that exist among us.

 

But with that said, sometimes we have to deal with members who are seriously dysfunctional. I’m talking about someone who brings a level of dysfunction that is above and beyond the normal dysfunction of our special little group of inherently dysfunctional individuals. What do we do about that? We’ll give some thought to that tomorrow.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

 

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “You shall have no other gods before Me.” Exodus 20:3 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “Don’t allow your family to become your god.”

 

One year for Christmas Linda and I took our four young children to spend Christmas week in a rented cabin at Big Bear Lake, high up in the mountains of Southern California. It was a winter wonderland complete with cold temperatures, lots of snow, and a frozen lake. However, the ice on the lake was thin and not safe to walk on.

 

One morning I looked out the kitchen window towards the lake, which was right in the backyard of our cabin, and I saw my daughter leading one of my toddler sons by the hand as they walked on the thin ice about 100 yards from the shore. Needless to say, I freaked out and ran out of the cabin yelling for them to come back to the shore (and praying a lot too!). Fortunately God protected them and they did not fall through the thin ice.

 

I’m praying He will do the same for me this morning because in this devotional message, I’m going to be venturing out on some thin ice, Lol.

 

In the first of the Ten Commandments (quoted above), God commanded that we are not to have any other gods in our lives. In other words, there is to be nothing that’s allowed to have a higher priority in your life than God. And we can’t just say that nothing is more important to us than God, we have too live as if nothing is more important to us than God. Otherwise, that thing has become a god to us.

 

Ok, here comes the thin ice: “Some of you treat your family like a god.” Some of you act as if your family (your spouse, children, grandchildren, extended family members, etc), are more important to you than God. Now I know those words would never come out of your mouth but I’m not talking about what you say, I’m talking about what you do.

 

Some people are so consumed with thoughts of family life that they allow family life to dictate and take priority over everything else. Family issues are allowed to interfere with their personal quiet time with the Lord; family activities take priority over coming to church or fulfilling ministry commitments; family needs are allowed to use up some of that first 10% of the income (the tithe) that is supposed to belong to the Lord; and on and on it goes.

 

This is especially a problem here in rural Tennessee where I live. In this culture family is king – more so than in any of the other nine regions of the USA I have lived in during my adult life. But it’s mostly a good thing. I love the emphasis on family life that exists here. But sometimes the pull of family life is so strong that it’s over-the-top, to the point that it violates the first commandment and therefore actually becomes sinful. Can you imagine that? Family life (a good thing), becomes so much of a compulsive preoccupation for someone that it actually becomes sinful because in actual practice in their life, it has nudged God out of first place.

 

Now, I’m one of the biggest advocates for strong families that you will ever meet. Helping families to stay strong is a big part of my work as a Pastor. But you have to be careful that your emphasis on family doesn’t become so strong that it becomes a god in your life.

 

Prayerfully check yourself on this. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring truth to your mind about it. Make sure that God really is number one in your life, and that your life actually does reflect that truth. God must be number one and everything else, and everyone else, comes after He does. Take good care of your family, yes, but don’t let it become your god.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Family”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works.” Hebrews 10:24 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “The family of God is your most important family.”

 

There are some people, maybe many people, who will read our “Thought for today” and find it disturbing. For many folks the thought that their spiritual family (most of whom are not their own flesh and blood), could somehow be more important than their biological family, is a difficult idea to wrestle with.

 

But difficult or not, it’s a true statement. The truth is that flesh and blood relationships, as important as they are (and they are very important), are temporary and they end at death. Spiritual relationships are the ones that last for eternity. People who are members of the family of God are brothers and sisters in Christ and they will spend all of eternity together.

 

Now, if a blood relative is also a Christian, then in addition to the human relationship we share with that person, we also share a spiritual relationship that will last for eternity. So in those cases we get to enjoy our human relationship with them now in this lifetime, and then we have that spiritual relationship with them for all of eternity. Bonus! But if that flesh and blood relative is not a Christian, then our relationship with them will end at death.

 

And so, the spiritual bond we share with our brothers and sisters in Christ is at a deeper level (spiritual rather than just biological), is longer-lasting (eternal), and is therefore of greater importance.

 

Again, this can be a disturbing thought for a lot of people but it should serve as a motivating factor to do everything you can to win your family members to faith in Christ. And if you do, then presto change-o the problem is solved.

 

With respect to maintaining and nourishing our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ, God has ordained that we be gathered into groups known as church families. By doing that, we brothers and sisters in the family of God can help each other as we continue on our journey through this lifetime on our way towards our real home in heaven.

 

That’s what the writer of the letter to the Hebrews was getting at in Hebrews 10:24. Regardless of how good or bad your human family is, if you even have one, it’s your spiritual family who has been tasked by God to be a source of love, encouragement, and support for you. That being the case, you need a spiritual family, a church family, even if you do have a good biological family.

 

If you don’t have a good church family then I want to extend an invitation to you to join ours. Oak Hill Baptist in Crossville is a warm and friendly place filled with people who love and care for each other. We would love to have you join us. Sunday school is at 9:00 and Worship service begins at 10:00. Sunday evening services is at 6:00. You can learn more about us at our website, www.oakhillbaptist.net.

 

We look forward to seeing you soon!

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim