Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows he will also reap, because the one who sows to the flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.” Galatians 6:6-7 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Sowing and reaping is a Biblical principle.”

 

The “Law of Sowing and Reaping” is a Biblical principle created by God to govern human affairs. It maintains that what you sow determines what you reap. It is built upon the example of farming and reminds us that if a farmer wants a good crop, he must sow good seeds. He will not get a good crop from bad seeds. Likewise if he wants an abundant crop, he will have to sow lots of seed because if he sows sparingly, he will reap sparingly.

 

God has ordained that this same principle will govern all of life. If you are lazy and refuse to work, you have no right to expect a life filled with abundance. If you are mean to other people, other people will be mean to you. If you abuse your body with drugs and alcohol, your body will respond by getting sick and ceasing to function. You will reap what you sow. The Hindus call it karma. Conventional wisdom labels it a basic law of nature. But we know it’s a Biblical principle established by God and we can see it at work every day.

 

Since the law of sowing and reaping is a Biblical principle established by God, it’s important for us not to interfere with it. God established this law for a reason. It will have its intended impact in our own lives, and we need to be careful we don’t try to override its effects in other people’s lives. Doing so constitutes “enabling bad behavior”.

 

You know exactly what I mean. When someone we love and care about is reaping unpleasant consequences as a result of their bad behavior, we instinctively want to jump in and minimize those bad consequences for them. But when we do that we are interfering with God’s work in their lives. If they’re never allowed to feel the pain of their bad choices, they will have no incentive to make better choices. Bad behavior should have bad consequences. If you and I take action to lessen that experience for the wrongdoer, we have interfered with the working of a Biblical principle and we have crossed a boundary, entering into an area we have no business being.

 

God established the law of sowing and reaping for a reason. We will experience it in our own lives, and we need to get out of the way and let it have its intended effect in other people’s lives as well.

 

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Watch out and be on guard against all greed because one’s life is not in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Do you own your possessions or do they own you?

 

An Old Testament example of the point Jesus was making in Luke 12:15 is found in the man Job. Job was one of the wealthiest men of his day. The Bible describes him as “the greatest man among all the people of the east.” (Job 1:3). In terms of land, sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys, and children (all standard measures of wealth in his day), Job was very rich. On top of that, he was a godly man who prayed and worshipped frequently.

 

However at one point Satan was allowed by God to attack Job and to destroy all of his possessions. Job went from being the richest guy in town to sitting in dust and ashes completely destitute. He didn’t know it at the time but this was actually a test of his faith, and it had been allowed by God to prove a point to Satan. The purpose of this adversity was to test the sincerity and depth of Job’s faith and, if he handled it well, to hold him up as an example of great faith even in tough times.

 

How did Job respond when every worldly possession which he held dear was lost? His response is recorded for us in Job 1:21-22, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Praise the name of Yahweh.” Through it all Job did not sin or blame God for anything.

 

The question for us to consider is, how much of a hold do our possessions have on our heart? Do you own them or do they own you? If you lost it all today would you still praise God and would your faith still be intact? It’s vital that we build a boundary around our heart that prevents our love for our possessions to penetrate too deeply. Like Job, we are free to enjoy what the Lord has blessed us with and it’s okay to want to keep it, but we cannot allow our love for those things to become so strong that if we lose them we are devastated or destroyed.

 

The great writer Oswald Chambers once wrote, “When Jesus Christ talked about discipleship, He indicated that a disciple must be detached from property and possessions, for if a man’s life is in what he possess, when disaster comes to his possessions, his life goes too.”

 

How deeply into your heart does your love for your possessions go? Do you own them or do they own you?

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

 

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

 

Our thought for today: “Some people cannot be allowed into our lives.”

 

So far this month we’ve learned why boundaries are important and we’ve learned about different types of boundaries. We’ve also been considering various strategies for developing and maintaining good boundaries. Today I want us to consider the most drastic and probably the most effective type of boundary which is, distance.

 

The sad truth is that some people simply cannot be allowed into our lives. In some cases the only effective boundary is geography – we have to make them go away and stay away. For example, simply as a matter of safety a woman in an abusive relationship has to make the man get out and stay out. In such cases a safe boundary requires distance.

 

When I work with the men in the jails whose problems stem primarily from drug addiction, I always explain to them that once we get them out of jail we have to get them into a brand new environment and keep them surrounded with people who do not use drugs. If they return to their old surroundings, filled with their old drug using friends, they will quickly return to their old habits. Again in this case the appropriate and most effective boundary is geography. We have to create a substantial amount of distance between them and their old environment.

 

In 1 Corinthians 15:33 Paul cautions us regarding a basic truism of human nature: “We become like those we associate with.” Over time you will be influenced by and become like those you spend the most time with. If you spend enough time with bank robbers, soon you will probably be robbing banks too. If the people around you commonly use profanity, before long you probably will too. If your child is hanging around with the troublemakers at school and now he is starting to be a troublemaker too, it’s time from him to get new friends. Again in those cases a boundary has to be created and maintained which removes those people from your life.

 

It’s sad and it can seem to be a drastic measure, but sometimes there are people who simply cannot be allowed into our lives. In those cases the appropriate boundary is a geographic one, we have to make them go away.

 

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Downsize and simplify”.

 

When we feel as if our lives are as full as they can be and are actually overflowing it’s usually because we haven’t established and maintained good boundaries. That happens because we get caught in the trap of believing that if a little of something is good, then more is even better. But the truth is more is often not better. Many times more turns out to be too much.

 

If a full-time job of 40 hours per week is good, then 60 hours per week is even better, right? We could easily think so simply because 60 hours of work produces more income than 40 hours does. But working 60 hours will also substantially impact our overall quality of life. It will leave us tired; it will take away from our family time; it will reduce the time we have for rest, recreation, and renewal; it will interfere with our exercise.

 

If having our children involved in Little League and karate is good, then having them involved in Little League, karate, gymnastics, and music classes is even better, right? Well, probably not. That kind of a schedule will wear out both the kids involved in them and the parents who have to take them to all those events.

 

The point is that many times more is not better, more is often too much. Frequently the best answer is to simplify and downsize. If we work fewer hours we may end up with a smaller income, a smaller house, an older car, and shorter vacations, but we will also end up with more family time, more rest, better physical health, and more time for church activities.

 

Richard Foster once wrote a wonderful little book entitled “The Freedom of Simplicity”. In it he makes the case for the very thing Paul calls for in the verses from 1 Timothy cited above. Foster maintains that when we simplify our lives and learn to be content with less instead of more, we suddenly discover a sense of freedom that we never experienced before. We come to realize that we have been held captive by our complex lives of packed schedules, never ending demands and huge financial burdens. Breaking free from that is liberating. We may end up with less money and fewer possessions, but the quality of life actually improves substantially.

 

It’s true – godliness with contentment can be a great gain for us. Sometimes we need to simplify our lives by downsizing and doing less instead of more.

 

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Proverbs 13:24 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Sometimes what’s needed is “tough love”.

 

Many years ago Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family coined the phrase “Tough Love”. Tough Love is a parenting concept which teaches that when we love someone we sometimes must be tough with them for their own good. With respect to children, they need firm boundaries in order to learn right from wrong, and they need to experience discipline when they violate those boundaries. If the parent fails to discipline the child when needed, the parent has failed in their role as teacher, mentor, and trainer. Sometimes tough love is the highest form of love.

 

But the concept of tough love doesn’t just apply to the parent/child relationship. It actually spans the spectrum of relationships and ages. Whether we’re dealing with a minor child, an adult child, a spouse, a relative, a friend, or a co-worker, sometimes tough love is needed, and failure on our part to initiate that tough love translates into enabling bad behavior.

 

In recent years I’ve been devoting a lot of time to working with men in various levels of incarceration, helping them to break free from the endless cycle of drugs, crime, jail, and then repeating the sequence. A helpful book on the subject was written by Donald Smarto entitled “Keeping Ex-Offenders Free!” In one section he writes about applying “tough love” in our efforts to help ex-offenders get their lives turned around:

 

“The type of structure the church needs to provide ex-offenders is not unlike that provided by parental authority. Love must nurture and understand, but it must also provide boundaries, limits, and standards. The parent who never communicates values to the child, who never says no, is not helping the child grow. Without guidelines, the child drifts into an environment without boundaries and fails to develop mature values and a sense of responsibility.”

 

Smarto concludes with this: “Real love for ex-offenders must include discipline. But discipline does not concern itself merely with punishment. That is a common misconception. The word discipline has at its root the word disciple, which means to show people the right way through example and modeling.”

 

Regardless of the relationship we’re talking about, clear and firmly established boundaries, the enforcement of those boundaries, and appropriate consequences when those boundaries have been violated, is actually one of the highest forms of loving someone. For us to do less for them is to fail them.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 4:1-2 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “Boundaries are Biblical”

 

The idea of establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries is Biblical and is woven all throughout Scripture. God Himself is a God of boundaries. In the Bible He defines for us exactly who and what He is, and what He is not. He is holy, which means He is not unholy. He is light, and therefore He is not darkness. He also tells us what is acceptable to Him and what is not. Righteous behavior is acceptable but sinfulness is not. Sincere and genuine worship pleases Him but empty religious ritual does not.

 

This is the God who also created the universe and established its limits. He is the one who created the boundaries for the oceans, and the limits of physics. In short, boundaries are good and needed. The idea of boundaries comes from God Himself.

 

That being the case – since good and appropriate boundaries were God’s idea to begin with, it’s essential that our lives to be lived within good boundaries. We need proper boundaries to govern our personal conduct, and we need appropriate boundaries for others when their conduct impacts our lives. We need to establish appropriate boundaries for things such as sleep, recreation, work, and more. How much is enough, how much is too little, and how much is too much? We even need to have personal nutritional boundaries. Again, how many calories are enough and how many are too many? How much junk food is ok, and when have we crossed the line into overindulging?

 

I’m not suggesting that we should become compulsive about structure, rules, and guidelines (although most of us could probably benefit from being just a little OCD in this respect). My point is that boundaries are important. They are good and needed and even Biblical. Boundaries are God’s idea.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (HCSB) … “For each person will have to carry his own load.” Galatians 6:5 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Responsible “to” or responsible “for”?

 

This morning I want to continue our discussion from yesterday regarding how much we are to buy into other people’s problems. This is important because it’s often a matter of confusion for many Christians. Sometimes we’re so eager to help others that we cross the line into enabling bad behavior or carrying burdens for people that they really should be carrying for themselves (and there are plenty of people who are more than happy for us to carry their burdens for them).

 

Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer some helpful advice about this in their book “Boundaries”. In a section which helps to clarify the difference between being responsible “to” someone and being responsible “for” someone, they discuss the apparent contradiction we find in what Paul wrote in the verses from Galatians chapter six cited above. Their explanation is helpful so I will summarize it for our purposes here:

 

We are responsible to others and for ourselves. “Carry one another’s burdens,” says Galatians 6:2, “in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” This verse shows our responsibility “to” one another.” What that means is that sometimes people have burdens that are too big for them to bear alone. They don’t have enough strength, or resources, or knowledge to carry that load themselves and therefore they need some help for a little while. It’s something they simply cannot do alone and therefore our assistance is not only appropriate, but it’s also a demonstration of the love of Christ.

 

But then on the other hand, verse five tells us that each person is also responsible for carrying their own load. This means that the burdens and problems in question are the responsibility of that individual and that they are within that person’s ability to deal with on their own. That person does or should have the strength, resources, and knowledge to handle this, and therefore they should handle it for themselves. If a person is capable of handling an issue or problem themselves, but you and I step in and handle it for them, or we provide them more assistance than is appropriate, we have crossed the line into enabling.

 

At different times each of us encounters situations in life that we simply cannot handle alone. That’s where our responsibility “to” each other kicks in. We are to help one another carry those burdens. But most of the difficulties people encounter in life don’t fall into that category. Most of the things people are faced with are things they can handle themselves and therefore they should. That’s what verse five means. We are responsible “for” ourselves and we should each be carrying our own load to the greatest extent possible.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

 

Our thought for today: “Protect your heart.”

 

In their book “Boundaries” Henry Cloud and John Townsend help us to understand what a boundary looks like and when one is needed. They write of how physical boundaries are easily discernable because they are visible. So whether we’re talking about a fence, a wall, a hedge, or a moat filled with alligators, it’s easy to determine where the boundary is and whether or not it’s okay to cross it.

 

Spiritual boundaries are a little tougher to discern but can actually be even more important than physical ones. Take the heart for example. In Proverbs 4:23 Solomon warns us of the need to guard it. We have to erect boundaries and make decisions about who or what gets into our heart, and then how deeply.

 

In one section of the book they write about knowing the difference between “Me and Not Me”. They explain that a good boundary helps me to understand where I end and where someone else begins. It helps me to know what issues and problems I do own, and therefore am responsible for, and what is not mine.

 

This doesn’t mean that we don’t care and it doesn’t mean that we won’t help. But we all know people who do in fact want us to own their problems. They want us to buy into and even take responsibility for their stuff. But that’s where the distinction between “Me and Not Me” becomes so important. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. I can help you with your problems and you can help me with mine, but we each need to own what is ours.

 

Such boundaries give us the freedom to say, “I love you and I care about you, and I will even help you (to a reasonable degree and without crossing the line into enabling bad behavior), but I cannot live your life for you and I will not own your problems.”

 

Make sure you guard your heart because it is the spring from which all of the rest of life flows. When we allow people and their issues into our heart we quickly become involved at an emotional level. That’s ok, to a degree. But we do need to be smart about who we will allow in like that, and how deeply. Remember, no matter how much you love someone and how much you care about them, you can’t live their life for them and you should not own their problems.

 

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Losing your sense of humor is a warning sign.”

 

In his book “The Insanity of God” author Nik Ripkin writes about what it’s like for missionaries who minister for long periods of time in dangerous locations. He explains that a hostile environment and difficult circumstances take a toll on those serving there and over time, those missionaries begin to burn out.  Those who have been appointed to lead and supervise missionaries in those situations have been trained to watch for certain clues which help to reveal that the missionary is reaching a condition of overload and is in need of relief. One of those clues is humor. When a person begins to lose their sense of humor, when they can no longer smile and laugh, it’s time for a break. Nik writes:

 

“Humor is a powerful indicator of psychological health … When our workers found it impossible to see and respond to humor, it was clear that they were in serious need of emotional relief and healing. When that happened, it was time to retreat and recover.”

 

The same is true for us. When the pressures of life get to the point that we become grumpy, snippy, even depressed; when we can no longer laugh at ourselves and at our situations; when smiling becomes an effort and nothing seems funny anymore; it’s time for some emotional relief.

 

You may not feel like a break is possible. You might think you don’t have the time, or the money, or someone to watch the kids, or to take care of your responsibilities for you. But the truth is that you have to find a way to take that break anyway. Because if you don’t, you could end up like those missionaries who were so stressed and drained that they were burned out. When it gets to that point if you don’t take a break and take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others.

 

When your sense of humor starts to go, that’s a pretty good clue that you’ve had all you can take and it’s time for a break.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Good Morning Everyone,

 

Our theme for this month: “Boundaries”

 

Our Bible verse for today: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.” Matthew 6:33 (HCSB)

 

Our thought for today: “Quality of life is more important than quantity of possessions.”

 

Many years ago I learned one of the most important lessons of my life. At that time I was a Naval Officer serving as the Chief Engineer on a naval warship. As a Department Head, in charge of the largest department on the ship, I was two steps below the Commanding Officer in the chain-of-command. If I had continued my career in the Navy my next promotion would have made me an Executive Officer and after that, Commanding Officer of my own ship. So my career was going well.

 

But I was tired. At that point I had spent almost twenty years in the Navy. Much of that time had been spent away from home. My two oldest children grew-up with me gone much of the time. Now, if I were to continue with my career, it would mean more years at sea and my two youngest children would grow-up without me too. So I decided to cut my career short and retire from the Navy. I had no idea what I would do instead, but I was a Christian by then and I knew God had a call on my life, so I stepped out in faith and retired.

 

It was the dumbest financial decision I ever made. In the twenty-five years since then I have never come close to earning the salary I was getting back then. And let’s not even talk about the money I would have made had I continued getting promotions and climbing that ladder of success. And then there’s the issue of what my retirement pay would have been had I stayed in the Navy another ten years and retired at a higher pay grade.

 

But I wouldn’t change that decision even if I could. After I left the Navy I discovered I suddenly had the time to do all the things a husband and father was supposed to do, and I loved it. Then the Lord sent me to seminary and has allowed me to be the Pastor of two wonderful churches in California and now another in Tennessee. Beyond that, He has given me the privilege of leading humanitarian relief teams on mission trips to places all around the world.

 

As I look back now I realize that although there was a big financial price to be paid, the overall quality of my life actually skyrocketed and I ended up with a much better life than I would have had if I had continued pursuing the military promotions and the higher salaries.

 

I would like to claim that I was wise enough and spiritually mature enough at the time to have planned this all out in advance, but I wasn’t. It all happened because Matthew 6:33 is true. I simply had a general sense of what I believed the Lord wanted me to do and I then stepped out in faith. God took care of the rest. As a result I can tell you from personal experience that quality of life is far more important than quantity of possessions.

 

Our lives often become defined by a relentless pursuit of career success and financial security. But those things don’t necessarily give us a good quality of life. In fact, often the exact opposite is true. Don’t be afraid to trust God and follow His lead, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense in worldly terms.

 

God Bless,

Pastor Jim