Good Morning Everyone,
Our theme for this month: “Conflict”
Our Bible verse for today: “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge attractive, but the mouth of fools blurts our foolishness.” Proverbs 15:1-2 (HCSB)
Our thought for today: “To avoid conflict, don’t give offense”
As a young man I was pretty much a jerk. I know, I know, you can’t believe it right? (On the other hand, maybe you can!) It was probably borne of a deep-seated insecurity but I was a smart-aleck who always had something to say about everything. And it was seldom nice. I was the guy who would make a wisecrack about someone else’s misfortune and I was also the one who would tease you about your shortcomings. I’m sure I thought I was being witty and clever, but mostly I was just snarky and mean.
Interestingly, people were always mad at me. Imagine that! Finally one day somebody asked me if I ever got tired of having people mad at me all the time and of constantly being the center of conflict. Up to that point I guess I had never really given it a lot of thought but in that moment I decided that “yes”, I was tired of always being in conflict with people and I really wanted to be the kind of person who was easy for other people to like.
It was about that time that I was introduced to a wonderful little book that helped me immensely. It wasn’t a Christian book but it helped me none-the-less (I wasn’t a Christian back then anyway). The title of the book was “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie and it helped to completely change my way of thinking, speaking, and acting. Even though it’s not a Christian book, it is a classic with respect to inter-personal relationships and I still recommend it to people. It’s a small book filled with simple, practical, and easy to understand tips, many of which deal with how we talk to other people.
Why is this important? It’s important because most conflict between individuals begins with words that should not have been spoken. Either the thing should not have been said to begin with, or it should have been said differently and with in a nicer tone. Remember, it’s not just a matter of what you say, but also of how you say it.
To avoid conflict, make it a point to not give offense. The number one way we give offense to others is through the things that we say. I encourage you to give careful thought to what you say and to how you say it.
God Bless,
Pastor Jim