Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “The one who gives an answer before he listens – this is foolishness and a disgrace for him.” Proverbs 18:13 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Please listen to me!”

Long ago I gave-up watching television news talk shows – the kind where they have a group discussion and they debate the issues. Those things drive me crazy because nobody listens to the other person. Instead they all try to talk at that same time, usually loudly and with great emotion. They talk at each other, over each other, and past each other, but they seldom listen to each other. Not much effective communication going on there.

Unfortunately the same is often true in our own conversations. Too often we don’t really listen to each other. Instead we interrupt and argue and talk right past each other without really listening to what the other person is saying.

Personally, I dislike being interrupted in conversation. I think it’s rude. When somebody interrupts you mid-sentence they’re essentially letting you know that they’re not really interested in what you have to say. They obviously think that whatever they have to say is more important, so they cut you off and begin talking over you. I hate that.

However, that’s actually very common. Most people talk too much and don’t listen enough. Also, when they do allow the other person to talk they’re usually not really listening to what that person is saying. Instead they’re thinking about what they’re going to say next as soon as it’s their turn to talk again.

Poor listening skills are one of the primary reasons conversations go bad. When people interrupt each other, talking over and past the other person, it leads to frustration and even anger. There’s no way a discussion will be helpful and productive under those conditions.

One of the basic rules for effective communication is to really listen to the other person – empathically. That means you pay attention to what they are saying, you think about it as they’re saying it, you try to relate to their point of view, and you let them finish what they’re saying before you start talking. Proverbs 18:13 says it’s foolish and rude to attempt to answer someone before you’ve taken the time to really listen to them.

To be a good listener you should allow the other person to speak first. Then really listen to them and let them finish what they’re saying before you start talking. This requires patience on your part, but it will greatly enhance the quality and effectiveness of your conversations.

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and incomprehensible things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Let’s continue the discussion.”

Sometimes people ask me how I keep coming up with ideas for these daily devotional messages. They wonder how it is that I can write a daily devotional, six days a week, every week, for years on end. Where does all this come from? The short answer is “It comes from God.” The long answer is a bit more complicated.

Each month I pray and ask God to give me the theme He wants me to write about for the upcoming month. I call to Him, just like Jeremiah 33:3 says, trusting Him to give me the theme to begin with, and then to give me scripture passages and ideas all throughout the month.

Once I have that theme, it plays constantly in the back of my mind. Pretty much at all times I’m at least vaguely aware of it and thinking about it. Then, as I go through my days, I’m constantly coming across Bible verses, and ideas, and illustrations, and examples that pertain to that theme. In my personal Bible study time, in my research and study for sermons and Bible studies, in books I’m reading, magazines, newspapers, television news, and from people passing ideas along to me, I’m constantly jotting down motes for the devotionals. So, when I sit down to write, I have a lot of material to draw from.

The other day I was praying and asking God to give me the theme for August, but all I got was silence. There was nothing. So I went into my time of personal Bible study and within ten minutes I came across four passages of Scripture and one additional idea that pertained to the theme we were just finishing “Changing the tone of the conversation”. Later that day (it was a Monday and my day off), I was out riding my motorcycle and I stopped by a lake to sit and read for a while. During that short time of reading I came across several more ideas that pertained to the same theme. So in addition to the notes and ideas I had left over from July, along with the Scripture passages and ideas the Lord gave me on this day, I could write on that theme for two solid weeks just with the material I already had, even if the Lord gave me nothing else to work with.

So, I think He made it clear that we’re not yet done with the theme of “Changing the tone of the conversation”. Apparently there’s more He wants me to say on the matter and apparently there’s more for all of us to learn about it. I look forward to spending the month of August going deeper into this subject with you.

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” Esther 4:4 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Make a difference where you are with who you can.”

The story has often been told of the young boy who went for a walk on the beach and discovered that an entire school or starfish had washed up on the beach. There were hundreds of them. The fish were still alive but they were out of their element and were slowly dying. After thoughtfully considering the situation for a moment the boy began picking up the struggling starfish and tossing them back into the ocean one-by-one.

A man observing the scene chuckled and said to the boy, “Son, you’re never going to save all these starfish, there are just too many of them. Most of them will die before you can throw them back in. What you’re doing really won’t make any difference.” The boy considered that for a moment, looked at the starfish he was holding in his hand and said, “Well, it will make a difference to this one” and then he tossed it into the ocean, giving it a chance to live.

Many times when we consider a huge problem (like the toxic nature of our national dialogue), it can seem as if the problem is just too big for us to make any difference as an individual. And you would be right, in a way. No one person is going to change it all by themselves. But as individuals you and I can make a difference in our own conversations, and we can help to change the tone in our home, neighborhood, workplace, school, church, etc. The answer to the larger problem is for millions upon millions of people to make a small difference when and where they can. Millions of small differences will make a huge impact overall. But it has to begin with you and me.

It’s true – you can’t fix the problem by yourself, there are too many stranded starfish washed up on the beach of our cultural landscape. By yourself you can’t make a difference in the hundreds of millions of conversations that will take place in our country today – all the way from the halls of Congress, to the halls of school rooms, and in workplaces, and everywhere else. You can’t make a difference in all of them, but you can make a difference in some of them.

Just as God placed Esther where she was, in that place at that time for that purpose, He has you where He wants you to be, in the place you are at, at this time, for a purpose. Make a difference today where you are for the people you are with.

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 (CSB)

Our thought for the day: “Wisdom requires us to control our tongue.”

This is the twenty-third devotional message in our series “Changing the conversation”. Of the twenty-three daily Bible verses we’ve used, seven of them have been from the book of Proverbs. There are sixty-six books in the Bible but a third of our Bible verses about controlling our speech have come from just one book – Proverbs. There’s a good reason for that.

The book of Proverbs is the centerpiece of the Bible books that fall into the category of “wisdom” literature. Wisdom is more than knowledge. Knowledge is the accumulation of facts and information. Wisdom is the ability to apply what we know in a way that leads to skillful living based upon the proper application of God’s Word. The book of Proverbs helps us to develop a proper philosophy for living. The word philosophy comes from the Greek words philo (love) and Sophia (wisdom). It is “the love of wisdom”.

The discipline of controlling our tongues and the right use of words features prominently in the wisdom of Proverbs. Therefore an important part of the wisdom Proverbs helps us to develop is using our words to help rather than to hurt, to build up rather than to tear down. It is the ability to have control over our tongue.

A Biblically wise person speaks words of life rather than death; words that help rather than hurt; words that calm things down rather than stirring things up. That’s the point being made in Proverbs 12:18 – the fool speaks rashly and their words are like a sword that stabs and pierces and causes great harm. But a Biblically wise person, the one who is spiritually mature enough to apply their faith in ways that honor God and help others, is a person whose wise words bring healing.

Here’s a short Bible study worthy of your time today: Turn to the book of Proverbs in your Bible. Start in chapter one verse one, then scroll down the verses, stopping at each one that teaches something about how we are to use our words. Just make a note of it so you can come back to it later. Continue your search through all thirty-one Proverbs. Now go back and slowly, prayerfully read each of the verses you noted. Not only will you find this helpful and instructive (maybe life-changing), but you will also be surprised at what a common theme controlling the tongue is in God’s primary book of wisdom.

Godly wisdom requires us to learn how to control our tongues.

God Bless,
Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “What good is it my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but does not have works? Can such faith save him?” James 2:14 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Are you the problem or the solution?”

I read an interesting illustration the other day about the relationship between words and actions and how it is that one should fulfill the other. The writer said that words are like a check and actions are like cash. A check is a promise that there is actual money to back-up the check and in the future, if the person cashes the check, they will receive real money. Likewise, words are a promise of future action. Words are something we give to others with a promise that action will follow.

Actions on the other hand are like cash, they have immediate value. In James 2:14 we’re challenged and encouraged to back-up our words with action. Words by themselves can be insincere and meaningless – they can even bounce like a bad check. Words followed-up with actions prove that the words actually meant something.

We’re nearing the end of our study on the theme of “Changing the tone of the conversation.” Perhaps at this point you have good intentions to be a change-agent in your part of the world. Maybe you’re thinking that you will make an extra effort to be a calm and reasoned person, that you will be intentional and thoughtful as you speak to people with grace and kindness, treating them with dignity and respect even if you disagree with them. Congratulations. That’s wonderful. However, good intentions often fall into the same category as meaningless promises – they can bounce like a bad check.

What’s needed is for all of us to actually change the tone of our conversations. As I noted in the first message in this series, changing the tone of the larger national conversation will have to be a grassroots effort – it will have to start with you and me, him and her, them and us, and work it’s way up to the highest levels. The overall tone of the debate in the nation will have to be an accumulation of our individual conversations. We the people need to set the example for them the leaders, and then insist that they fall in line and start behaving themselves better.

So the question, the challenge, is, “Are you part of the solution or are you part of the problem?” Good intentions are nice, that’s the starting place, but good intentions need to result in better conversations. You have to follow through and actually do it. I encourage you to be part of the solution.

God Bless,
Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “I did not know, brothers, that he was the high priest”, replied Paul, “For it is written, ‘You must not speak evil of a ruler of your people.” Acts 23:5 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “Do not engage in character assassination”

I’m currently reading Senator John McCain’s new book, “The Restless Wave: Good times, Just Causes, Great Fights, and Other Appreciations”. Senator McCain has terminal brain cancer and is nearing the end of his life. He wrote this book as a means of reflecting on his long career in the military, and on his decades of public service in politics.

I have great admiration and respect for him. He’s a military hero and a committed and passionate public servant. I know he’s not conservative enough for some on the far right of the political spectrum. They call him a “Rhino” – “Republican in name only”, but I disagree. He’s a principled and fair-minded moderate who understands that getting anything done in the world of politics requires the ability to get along with others and to negotiate compromises.

One of the things I admire and appreciate about Senator McCain is his ability to get along with, and to speak respectfully of, those with whom he disagrees. Politically he had ferocious battles with Ted Kennedy and Barak Obama. But Ted Kennedy was also one of his best friends, and although they were on opposite sides of the politically, they spent time together socially and they treated each other with respect. John McCain also disagreed with Barak Obama on almost every important issue of our day, and yet he still spoke respectfully of the man as a person.

One of the most damaging and problematic elements of our national conversation today is the poisonous, mean-spirited, disrespectful, and even hateful personal attacks that take place on a daily basis. Not only are people disagreed with, but they are viciously attacked, on a personal level, as individuals. The object is to disparage, destroy, and crush. It is character assassination and it is wrong.

In Acts 23:5 we find the Apostle Paul on trial before the Sanhedrin, the religious court of his day. In a fit of anger Paul made a disparaging remark about one of the authority figures present, who turned out to be the high priest. Realizing that what he had said was inappropriate, Paul apologized. It was wrong of him to speak in a disrespectful manner of an authority figure. He still went on to state his case. He still told the high priest and the rest of the religious court why he thought they were wrong, but he did it in a respectful manner, as he should have.

As Christians we need to be careful about how we say things. We are free to disagree with others. We are free to explain to them why we think they are wrong, and we can even state our case strongly. But we are not free to engage in character assassination, or in other unkind, disparaging, or mean-spirited talk.

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Ephesians 5:11 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “We have to speak-up”

In Ephesians 5:11 the Apostle Paul gives us two directives regarding our response to things that are obviously dark, evil, sinful. First, we are not to participate in such things. Second, we are to expose them for what they are. We have to speak-up.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” That quote is commonly attributed to the philosopher Edmund Burke and it speaks to a growing problem in the Christian world. Christians are becoming increasingly fearful and timid about speaking-up, so they are remaining silent. Because the cultural landscape today seems to be super-charged with anger, animosity, and even outright hatred, and because you can probably count on receiving a fair amount of blowback if you publically proclaim unpopular views, many Christians are choosing instead to remain silent.

In their great little book “Redeeming How We Talk”, authors Ken Wytsma and A.J. Swoboda write about how in ancient times, maps designated unexplored regions of the world with the phrase “Here be dragons”. It was a warning to sailors and explorers not to go to those regions because dragons and other monsters were rumored to live there. It was safer to just avoid those places and stick to the areas known to be safe.

Many Christians today view some regions of the cultural landscape in our society with the idea of “Here be dragons”, and it’s safer to just avoid those areas. But Biblically we aren’t free to do that. We have to go there and do battle with the dragons. We have to contend for Biblical truth.

My new book, “Getting Along without Going Along: Biblical Sexual ethics in an age of controversy and conflict” was written to help equip Christians to speak to the difficult issues of our age with boldness and confidence, but also with kindness and grace. The book has now been released and is available for sale at Oak Hill Baptist Church. Soon it will also be available for purchase online as well. If you would like to purchase a copy before then, and if you are not near Oak Hill Baptist Church, you can send a check for $12.95 plus $2.95 shipping and handling to Oak Hill Baptist Church, 3036 Genesis Road, Crossville, TN 38571. Be sure to include a note that the check is for a copy of the book.

As the followers of Jesus we do have to speak-up for the cause of Christ and for Biblical principles. Lies need to be exposed. Truth needs to be spoken. We are to do so boldly and with confidence, but also with kindness and with grace.

God Bless,

Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is:

Our theme for this month: “Changing the tone of the conversation”

Our Bible verse for today: “So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how a small fire sets ablaze a large forest. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among our members. It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish is tamed and has been tamed by humankind, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:5-8 (CSB)

Our thought for today: “The tongue is powerful.”

The reason we’re spending an entire month discussing the way in which we speak to each other is because words have such power. Wars have been started by words. People die because of spoken words. Look at the passage from James 3:5-8 again – the spoken word can be like a little spark that sets an entire forest on fire.

In his book, “James: Guidelines to a happy life” Pastor John MacArthur shares this thought about the power of the tongue:

“The tongue is you in a unique way. It is a tattletale that tells on the heart and discloses the real person. Not only that, but misuse of the tongue is perhaps the easiest way to sin. There are some sins that an individual may not be able to commit simply because he does not have the opportunity. But there are no limits to what one can say, no built-in restraints or boundaries. In Scripture, the tongue is variously described as wicked, deceitful, perverse, filthy, corrupt, flattering, slanderous, gossiping, blasphemous, foolish, boasting, complaining, cursing, contentious, sensual, and vile. And that list is not exhaustive. No wonder God put the tongue in a cage behind the teeth, walled in by the mouth!”

As we have learned this month, the tongue can be used to speak words of peace and blessing. If we use it correctly and Biblically, the tongue can speak words of life to hurting people. But the tongue can also be a little monster that is evil and vile, causing pain, heartache, even wars and death.

James tells us that the tongue can’t be tamed, but that’s hyperbole. He said that just to illustrate what an evil little thing it can be. All of the other Bible verses we’ve considered so far this month, and those yet to come in this series, tell us that the tongue can be tamed, but only by bringing it into submission under the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Your tongue is small but powerful, and it is either evil or good (probably a little of both). But it can be tamed by being trained. I encourage you to train your tongue to be a blessing rather than a curse, good rather than evil.

God Bless,
Pastor Jim

Our mailing address is: